Over a period of time I’ve identified the following distinct classifications of people using Twitter - which group are you in?

Celebrity Stalker
There’s a surprising amount of celebs and public figures ‘embracing the Tweet’. Updates range from bleary-eyed getting out of bed habits to well-constructed PR snippets, and can often be a voyeuristically personal view into their world.  Highlights include Jonathan Ross, Darth Vader and Stephen Fry. Should keep you busy until the next issue of Heat.

Microblogger
Everything is put down in a tweet, no matter how mundane or worthless. Potential offenders are usually hitting 30+ posts a day. Great stuff for the Celebrity Stalkers to lap up.

Industry Groupie
All your Twitter friends are in the same industry as you, Twitter is used solely as a networking and information gathering/sharing tool. People in this category tweet as a way of life, meeting new people in the same field, quickly gathering followers with similar work-interests as themselves. Often encroaching on the ‘Link Sharer’ type…

Link Sharer
Your tweets mostly consist of links, either from the web or others Twitter feeds. You have a mild to severe competitive streak and need to be the first in your network to present ‘the cool link’ before anyone else.

Pure Follower
Not really bothered about tweeting yourself, but more than happy to follow along with updates from others. Pure Followers are information sponges, often exceling at pub quizes. Not to be confused with the Celebrity Stalker.

Boredom Buster
Tweeting-time reserved for when you’re bored, and can’t think of anything else to play with on your phone. Example situations: waiting for the other half outsde a changing room, using public transport, waiting for a mate at a gig. Typical tweet frequency: one every couple of months.

Investigator
A popular category; basically you’re a two-post wonder. Those two posts went something like this: “YESSSS! I’m on Twitter!” followed very shortly by “I’m eating a sandwich”. And then nothing. Ever. Many start out this way, excited to see what the fuss is about, but then experience feelings of confusion about what to do next, leading to Twitter Abandonment. Twitter could do with  better handholding features for new starters - big fat links to useful search tools, perhaps some categorised examples of people you might find worthy of following based on your interests etc.

Which of the above am I? Probably a three way split between Link Sharer, Industry Groupie, and Celebrity Stalker.